Sunday, August 4, 2013

This interview with James Deen is cracking me up.


Were you uncomfortable having to kiss another guy in this movie?Not really. I've kissed other dudes in my life, so it's not really a big deal. I have this conversation a lot because there is still a lot of homophobia in the world and in adult films, when you're sharing a scene with another dude and a lady, sometimes certain things come up: gay this, gay that. The way I define gay or homosexuals is a sexual attraction to a member of the same sex. I fully believe that people can engage in any sort of activity. Like I hate basketball, but I've played basketball before and it doesn't make me a professional basketball player. That [gay-sex] scene was a very important part of the movie, because it kind of represents the power switch. I think Bret was really worried I wouldn't want to do it. It's part of the script. It's not like it's real life. I'm not shooting a porno where I have to get physically erect and have sex with a dude. I think it was kind of a weight off of everyone's shoulders that I wasn't going to create an issue with it.
Feel free to tell me to mind my own fucking business, but have you had sexual contact with a guy off screen?Yeah, in my life when I was a kid. I feel like there is that college period in the majority of people's lives where they are getting to know themselves and they are experimenting with their sexuality and trying different things and having different thoughts and stuff like that. When I was younger, I think I was like 15 or something, I would have a moment where I was like, I don't know, maybe I like guys, maybe I like girls, what is life? I experimented and I never really… I'm not attracted to dudes. I kinda sometimes feel bad about that, I feel like I'm supposed to be because I hang out in San Francisco so much and people make me feel really bad for being a straight, white dude and I feel like I'm doing something wrong for being a straight white dude.
No, you're fine. You know, I'm gay, and I have to confess to not being entirely familiar with your porn work, so I don’t know if you’ll have an opinion about this or not: I think that double penetration, especially like two dicks in one hole is a real gay thing to do. You know, I mean you're using a hole basically to rub your dick against another guy's.I think if you're using hole to rub your dicks against another guy's, then yeah, it's a pretty homosexual activity but [not] if you and another dude together are having sex with a girl. The difference between a homosexual D.P. and a straight D.P. is when I go up to a girl and I'm like, “Oh my god, I want to see you just be a dirty little slut and do all these filthy things, I would love you to fuck two cocks at the same time, that would be so fucking hot, I want to be in that fucking hole,” that's kind of a straight D.P. A gay D.P. is me going up to you and being like, “Hey bro, know what we should do? We should go find a girl and wrap her around our penises and rub our penises together. Let's go find a girl to D.P.” I feel like it’s the motivation.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

SImply for the fact

"The simple Fact is..." and "Simply for the fact that..." are, one, not interchangable statements, and, two, very irritating to hear or read.

Did I use two many commas, there? Should I have actually presented the list in list form? Meh.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Stats

Was just having a look at my blog's stats and came across two interesting nuggets.
1. This is my most viewed post.
2. I get more traffic from China than any other country.

Bald and whatnot

I've got ridiculously thick hair. So much so that I can't really grow it without looking dumb and fluffy.

I spend probably half the year with a buzz cut, and the other half convincing myself it will grow past the fluffy stage any day now.

I've always said that if I start going bald:
1. I'll happily embrace it and just shave my head all the time.
2. It'll look ridiculous because of the fluffy thickness of my hair.

Number 2. is turning out exactly as I expected, my ever growing forehead and the wall of hair sprouting from the top of it have a very awkward interface.

I'm struggling with number 1. I have no idea why. I think I just don't like the idea of never having the liberty of combing/gelling/cutting my hair a different way.

I'n hindsight, I've never really had that liberty anyway.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

FIller Post

HAve you noticed how I haven't posted in a while? Me too. Here's some filler text from http://chrisvalleskey.com/fillerama/ to make it feel like I'm still blogging.

The 30% Iron Chef

And when we woke up, we had these bodies. Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver. For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your 'first' wife was the one who liked lilacs! Oh sure! Blame the wizards! You are the last hope of the universe.

I Dated a Robot

Ow, my spirit! Ah, the 'Breakfast Club' soundtrack! I can't wait til I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff! Okay, I like a challenge. As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead. Good news, everyone! There's a report on TV with some very bad news! It's a T. It goes "tuh".
  • And I'm his friend Jesus.
  • Ooh, name it after me!
  • And why did 'I' have to take a cab?

The Late Philip J. Fry

That's not soon enough! Bender?! You stole the atom. So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct? Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments."

Anthology of Interest II

Is the Space Pope reptilian!? Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg! WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! And why did 'I' have to take a cab?
  1. So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?
  2. Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault!
The Prisoner of Benda
We're also Santa Claus! Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head." Are you crazy? I can't swallow that. One hundred dollars. For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.

Monday, November 5, 2012

A Poem, by jake



Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy

(Get Ready)
My name is KIIIIIIIIIIIID...Kid Rock

Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy

And this is for the questions that don't have any answers
The midnight glancers and the topless dancers
The candid freaks, cars packed with speakers
The G's with the forties and the chicks with beepers
The Northern Lights and the Southern Comfort
And it don't even matter if the veins are punctured
All the crackheads, the critics, the cynics
And all my heros in the Methodone Clinic
All you bastards at the IRS
For the crooked cops and the cluttered desks
For the shots of jack and the caps of meth
Half pints of love and the fifths of stress
For the hookers all tricking out in Hollywood
And for my hoods of the world misunderstood
I said it's all good and it's all in fun
Now get in the pit and try to love someone

Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
(Love Someone)
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
(Kill Someone)
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
(Love Someone)
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
(Come On)

For the time bombs ticking and the heads that hang
All the gangs getting money and the heads that bang bang
Wild mustangs the porno flicks
All my homies in the county in cell block six
The grits when there ain't enough eggs to cook
And for DB Cooper and money he took
You can look for answers but that ain't fun
Now get in the pit and try to love someone

What
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
(Come On)
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy

Love, and for the hate
And for the peace.... WARRRRRRRRRRRR

Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
(Come On)
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy
Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The richest Man,,,

I'm bored at work again, so I'm reading through a PDF copy of "The richest man in Babylon" and this exchange just stuck out to me, reminding me of my Preachings from the congregation link.

"A twelfth month after Algamish had gone he again returned and said to me, 'Son, have you paid to yourself not less than one-tenth of all you have earned for the past year?'
"I answered proudly, 'Yes, master, I have.' " 'That is good,' he answered beaming upon me, 'and what have you done with it?'
" 'I have given it to Azmur, the brickmaker, who told me he was traveling over the far seas and in Tyre he would buy for me the rare jewels of the Phoenicians. When he returns we shall sell these at high prices and divide the earnings.'
Also, this one on the next page is a bit of a Gem
you have learned your lessons well. You first learned to live upon less than you could earn. Next you learned to seek advice from those who were competent through their own experiences to give it. And, lastly, you have learned to make gold work for you.